Step-by-step guide to piling on weight and increasing your risk of heart disease

As summer approaches, you may be one of the people who want to lose weight and get in shape. You look at the options and they all claim to get the same results.

Some want you to cut out food groups or live on liquid supplements. Others involve counting points, motivation coaching, counting calories or only consuming foods in certain combinations. The choices are endless.

Most people’s experience of dieting is miserable, yet a lot of them continue to do it. It is like scoring a goal but losing the game. You get some short-term benefits but you feel worse and end up giving up. It’s often difficult and expensive but as you may be desperate, you continue the yo-yo-ing in the hope that one day you will achieve the success you crave.

Or, one of the other things that people do is to abide by the Ultimate Anti-Health Plan, a phrase coined by life coach Pete Cohen.

He explains that there are four steps you must follow if you want to be unfit, put weight on, reduce your energy levels and increase your risk of illness. He calls it the Ultimate Anti-Health Plan and chances are it’s the one you are currently on.

If you follow this four-step approach you will be guaranteed a body that’s both shapeless and lifeless.

The first step you must take is to slow down your metabolism and your metabolic rate. By doing this you will burn fewer calories, whether you’re active or at rest, so even if you don’t increase your food intake you will automatically put weight on and store unnecessary body fat.

The easiest way to do this is to stop doing any exercise or activity, sit in front of the TV for as many hours as possible and avoid breaking a sweat at all costs.

The second step is to go crazy on sugar. Slowing down your metabolic rate will only get you so far in your mission to gain weight and become unfit. The next step in the Ultimate Anti-Health Plan is all about getting you to change your diet and the quickest way to do that is to get totally addicted to sugar.

Start by stocking your shelves with fizzy drinks, alcohol, fruit juices, sweets, sugary cereals and refined carbohydrates like white bread and pasta.

Make sure to include these foods at every meal and also munch on them in between meals, especially if you’re not hungry. That way you get the most junk food for your money. Remember, a can of soft drink contains at least 10 spoonfuls of sugar.

A diet high in sugar will help you pile on the pounds, reduce your immune system, increase your risk of diabetes, increase your risk of cardio-vascular heart disease, accelerate ageing and make you tired all the time.

The third step is to select calorie-dense foods. The key to putting on weight quickly is to eat way more calories than you actually need. To do this effectively you need to make sure you don’t fill up on low-calorie foods such as fruit and vegetables.

Refined

The most calorie-dense foods are refined, processed fatty foods. These are usually made with white flour and hydrogenated or saturated fats. These foods allow you to stuff yourself with hundreds of excess empty calories without feeling full and that are then easily converted into body fat.

By choosing foods made with refined white flour you’ll also avoid eating fibre, which again would fill you up unnecessarily. Fibre stretches the intestinal wall to improve digestion.

Fried foods are particularly good options as calorie-dense choices. By choosing these over grilled, baked, steamed or even stir-fried, you’ll be doubling your calorie intake.

Make sure you always have foods like chocolates, crisps and biscuits and any time you go to a newsagent or service station, stock up. Keep them at your desk, sofa, or even by your bed. This will maximise your calorie intake and speed up your success.

Fast food is an excellent friend to any anti-health dieter. It is the perfect combination of saturated and hydrogenated fat, fast-releasing sugar and refined flour and it is perfect for becoming fatter and less healthy.

Fast food spikes your blood-sugar levels rapidly, alters your mood and overloads your fat cells.

Instincts

The fourth step is to ignore your body’s natural instincts. The body will let you know when you are full or thirsty or when your muscles are tired and need sleep. It will tell you when you’ve had enough or when you need hydration.

You must learn to ignore all of these urges because if you act on them you will be in danger of improving your health and obtaining your ideal weight.

If you want to follow an anti-health plan you must eat when you’re not hungry, eat to the point of fullness and avoid drinking water. Your body is made up of nearly 75pc water and we need water for many of our bodily functions.

Digestion requires water and if you are dehydrated your body will squeeze water from your fecal material and this can lead to constipation so make sure you don’t drink water. This will also maximise your stomach space for other foods.

A lot of times we mistake hunger for thirst so if you feel thirsty, opt for food. And if you must drink, consume sugary beverages.

By following these simple steps, you will learn to give up all responsibility for your own health by falling prey to the temptations around you and stay firmly on the path of weight gain.

With these four steps, you are guaranteed to make yourself feel sluggish and heavy and, who knows, maybe even miserable and depressed.

This may feel like a joke but it’s what many people do.

If you are unsure of what is the right plan for you, get a coach to advise you.

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